Up Down Up Down Up Down Up Down.....

Thus my week has been.

I found out last Saturday that my Grandpa passed away , after I got back from an all day training event. Not my favorite end to a day. That following Monday the Red Cross sent a message to my company and I was called in to the office of the Lead Platoon Sergeant. I knew it what it was about but it was still hard to stay composed when my sergeant said that he was sorry but he had some bad news that my grandpa had passed away. He said that he would do everything to get me to the funeral which is to take place Thursday (tomorrow - he's a good man. He seemed the most serious in helping) and that I needed to talk to several sergeants to get it all worked out. The liaison sergeant to the class detachment seemed less than concerned to get anything rolling. Maybe it was his style but it bothered me slightly. So I talked to my class sergeant at the liaison sergeant's order and waited two days to hear back that I could not leave without losing my spot in the class and he would have to put in my recycle packet, meaning several more months in this place. (all happened today) So I'm staying here which is hard. I really wanted to go. Especially since Grandpa was prior military.

This was not everything. I did struggle with the idea of going. If I had gone I would have missed my chance to earn a badge from the German Army that I have wanted really bad for a long time now. I can't tell you how sad I was that I had to choose and in consequence miss the opportunity to get the badge. It's not offered everywhere. It was compounded when I didn't reach my intended score for my Physical Training test Tuesday. I missed another award that I was going for. I can't tell you how devastated I was when that happened. I may sound like someone who just wants awards but to me it's goals that I know I can work for. It helps me keep my mind sharp and gives me purpose and a sense of fulfillment. So when I didn't get it I was devastated that I missed the one chance I had to achieve something seeing that at the time I wasn't going to make it for the German Army badge. I can really say that when you don't get something you're really shooting for, it sucks. But I found that it was a good chance to lean on the Lord. I didn't do so well on that as I wanted to. I'm trying to do better.
So here I am. Not going when I thought I was and I was OK with missing stuff here. I had made that choice that my family was more important than badges.

Now I can't go. But I decided that while I would rather be in Colorado now with my family, I will, in honor of Lloyd Frey, or Grandpa, I will achieve the German Armed Forces Badge -Gold for him.