Change, my friend, this is what we call change

School ended last week. I have to say that I am glad that it is over for the time being because I was all schooled out. But it did not happen smoothly. It seemed as if Rexburg knew that it was the end and wanted to make sure that those leaving would remember the true weather. Following several days of gorgeous weather there came a storm of the likes that I had not seen in awhile. The region roared back it's head and pummeled our little town with snow and a wind that must have rivaled the wind from a ocean storm. So I left that town in the cold. And if that was not enough, the Rexburg weather flung his influence far south that affected my home state.
But that is all in the past now. I currently am experiencing a sunburn from working outside yesterday. What a difference.
It was a gorgeous day today. Warm with a slight cool breeze so as not to get too hot. I worked all day hauling HUGE rocks, tearing sheet rock down, pulling insulation out, hauling more rocks, and transplanting some plants.

"yes, Mr Plant, the doctor will see you now."

I have yet to see if the operation worked. Cross your fingers.

But the day has left me tired and sore, which I will enjoy. That is a sign that you have made progress. Stronger muscles and farther along in the project.

Don't you hate it when you come across a tune in a song that is one of the most beautiful things ever and it only is a part of the song? They don't even expound on it, which is an awful thing to do. So the only thing left is to repeat that one part again and again not quite feeling satisfied because you have to repeat it again far too soon. I wish I could write music so I could take that tune and write one song, or a score that would leave me feeling full circle after listening to it.

I love books. I love the story. There are days that I could sit all day and just read a book because I am so interested in finding out how the story unfolds. The library has been nudging me since I've been home to come and visit, and more importantly, leave with a book. I could use a good story right now.

Poems, Mutual Acquaintances, and Chinese

It was kinda weird to hear from her. It had been two weeks since I had last talked to her and that was a first. I hadn't gone more than 5 days without talking to her since last June. I didn't want to sound too excited because it seemed that it would be counter to what I had told her the last time we talked. Our brief conversation turned to us, no surprise, and it was interesting. Indecisive, she said that I was, and that was something she couldn't deal with right now. She needed someone who was sure of what they wanted and would be a pillar. I thought about this for a second and realized she may be right. Though she may have just been talking about us I thought to myself that it seemed to extend beyond that and, I admit, I didn't like that. I also believe there was a second effect to what she said. Her comment gave me a resolve, which was shaky, to stick with my decision. It was probably the opposite thing she was trying to accomplish or for which she wanted. But she had to go do something and like the last conversation, it ended with things unsaid. I told her I needed more time....and space.......which she said would be fine, so we said goodbye and I went on to fail a midterm.

Hallelujah

I just cannot concentrate for the life of me. I have a paper due here in a couple of days and I can do nothing but listen to the song Hallelujah and sit and wonder what on this good green earth I am going to write about.

So let's loosen my fingers a bit.

Today I woke up feeling pretty good. I ran 5 miles last night. I couldn't concentrate on homework and I had so much energy I just kept on going. I didn't stop when I usually do and I couldn't help but concentrate on going farther and farther. It felt good and I woke up refreshed but tired. It's a good combo in my humble opinion. It was also rather warm. I'd say shorts weather for here, of course it was only in the high thirties I believe. But, man, it felt so good not to have to wear a jacket or a coat. I really do enjoy the warm weather.

If I can survive this week school wise I believe this semester will turn out rather good. I hope that I can get everything done that needs to be done and without experiencing death-by-schoolwork. I really, really do not want to pull an all-nighter.

I went to Last Poet Standing tonight. It's where students read their original poetry and each week one person is let go. I have really enjoyed them so far. I realized yesterday that one of my favorite poets is in one of my classes. If I could I would write poetry. Sometimes I feel that poetry is the only way to effectively express feelings. I will someday improve on that skill, but not today.

Well, I believe it is time to go. I will go buy some chips......hopefully to help me concentrate. I know, I'm not sure how they will but it sounds convincing to me and that's enough right now.

Sense of accomplishment comes from doing what you know to be right, regardless of their difficulty.
I am now sitting back, drinking a Stewart's root beer(4 for a buck! how do you pass that up?), after making and eating dinner. My hard accomplishment of the day.
It's been a rather quite day. Church in the morning, nap in the afternoon, dinner in the evening. I have religion homework that I should do but, in true spirit of this whole weekend, I am putting it off. I've decided that either I've become trunky way too early for this semester or it hasn't worn off yet from last semester. Luckily my school load isn't too much. Maybe that's a bad thing, no drive to get my rear in gear. But I am pulling it off.
Today I have achieved the peak of my annoyance with my roommates. Now let's put this in relevancy, in alll fairness I am not that annoyed with them. I think they are pretty cool, but it is so blatantly obvious that they just got out of high school that it's pathetic sometimes. I don't like the idea but it's bugging me that I may have to play mom. I'd rather take the Drill Sergeant approach. But I feel that would quickly lead to bad feelings in the apartment. Though I still think that leaving clothes in the bathroom is a I'm-not-ready-to-be-an-adult show of character. (I have a feeling that I could be pegged on this one sometimes, but it's college, at least I don't do it here!) But they are still pretty cool kids, just need some life experience.
I went and saw Vocal Point yesterday. Absolutely fantastic. I loved it. Even though I couldn't find a date! (I tried all week) I wish they would come more often.
I'm reading a book on combat. the psychological and physiological effects on the body from combat. I find it rather interesting. He talks about how the intense fear that comes from high-stress situations makes us lose our fine motor skills. That is why training is so important. When something high stress happens you fall back into instincts. An example he shared is that, as families, you should unplug the phone and practice dialing 911 with your kids because in a situation where someone is scared they will forget what to do if they have not practiced it. He said to do this once a year. That way when someone is super scared they can react automatically and dial 911.
I would love to go to Europe right now. A good walk in the city of Colmar in eastern France or Bienne, a half german, half french city in Switzerland. I loved it in the winter time there. I really need to go back.
Well, I am going to enjoy the rest of my evening.

Let us not pity...

Well, here I am, after a long absence.
I figure a major reason I miss being full time in my job is that it gives me the ability to concentrate. particularly not on dating. I don't know why it's been on my mind so much. It's driving me up a wall. both because I feel a little highschoolish about it and because i seem to have luck in all the wrong places. I would like it to just be smooth.
One girl is the current focus. and I don't like it. it's just a pain in the teepee. and I'd rather not deal with it. I've been tempted to just talk to her about it but that would probably be awkward. i have a hard time just letting things pan out. I'd rather establish what's going on. saves time and effort. I also am wondering about what to do with some other girls that apparently really like me. I don't know what to say to them. and it's annoying. first because I just don't feel the same and secondly because I feel like I'm in their shoes with someone else. which is more humiliating than anything. all this is in light of the fact that there is a girl that I get along with exceptionally well and who would date me(if the time was right) but, for some reason, I don't see it working out right now. which continues to leave me in a pickle.
I figure the only reason I bother with this so much is because school isn't really holding my attention very well. call it a small form of ADD. the military did wonders, I never had much time to think and I did love it so it allowed me to concentrate. School has yet to do that. I'm just glad I don't have school tomorrow. I just need a balance. I need a change of pace. something to keep me going I guess. I have no idea how I am going to endure two more years up here. *disclaimer* it is rather late so you are reading me at my pinnacle of rants.
I hate the commercials on pandora. sell outs.
on a better note I like all of my classes! that is much better than last semester. I hope it stays that way. I would like to have a good semester up here.
well, I'm super tired and i will prolly have more upsetting dreams. I've been having some latley. last night was a pitched battle in Iraq. I never like killing in a dream. it seems way too real. ugh, not excited for tomorrow.
I do have some things to say on moral discipline. I really think that this is important. regardless of what you want you should have a moral compass. this will lead to more happiness than doing what ever willy-nilly will ever do. A consecrated life is what I need to strive for.