Well, here I am, after a long absence.
I figure a major reason I miss being full time in my job is that it gives me the ability to concentrate. particularly not on dating. I don't know why it's been on my mind so much. It's driving me up a wall. both because I feel a little highschoolish about it and because i seem to have luck in all the wrong places. I would like it to just be smooth.
One girl is the current focus. and I don't like it. it's just a pain in the teepee. and I'd rather not deal with it. I've been tempted to just talk to her about it but that would probably be awkward. i have a hard time just letting things pan out. I'd rather establish what's going on. saves time and effort. I also am wondering about what to do with some other girls that apparently really like me. I don't know what to say to them. and it's annoying. first because I just don't feel the same and secondly because I feel like I'm in their shoes with someone else. which is more humiliating than anything. all this is in light of the fact that there is a girl that I get along with exceptionally well and who would date me(if the time was right) but, for some reason, I don't see it working out right now. which continues to leave me in a pickle.
I figure the only reason I bother with this so much is because school isn't really holding my attention very well. call it a small form of ADD. the military did wonders, I never had much time to think and I did love it so it allowed me to concentrate. School has yet to do that. I'm just glad I don't have school tomorrow. I just need a balance. I need a change of pace. something to keep me going I guess. I have no idea how I am going to endure two more years up here. *disclaimer* it is rather late so you are reading me at my pinnacle of rants.
I hate the commercials on pandora. sell outs.
on a better note I like all of my classes! that is much better than last semester. I hope it stays that way. I would like to have a good semester up here.
well, I'm super tired and i will prolly have more upsetting dreams. I've been having some latley. last night was a pitched battle in Iraq. I never like killing in a dream. it seems way too real. ugh, not excited for tomorrow.
I do have some things to say on moral discipline. I really think that this is important. regardless of what you want you should have a moral compass. this will lead to more happiness than doing what ever willy-nilly will ever do. A consecrated life is what I need to strive for.
Dear Nith,
ReplyDeleteA consecrated life is what you need to strive for; that is a good idea.
So, several months ago in Sunday School an older man in our ward told of an experience he had when his wife died. He was suddenly so lonely and had all of this time on his hands and nothing to do.
And so, he started praying for Heavenly Father to help him in someway. And he found himself busy with things, and people, and he realized that his prayers had been answered.
I tell you this because I think that praying for guidance in dating is a Good Idea. Capital G, capital I. Because then he can start to clarify in your mind how to go about things. Or help you chill out, or tell you to date a lot of different girls and enjoy (or at least learn from) the experience.
In any case I think you are awesome. Excuse the novel. I hope you have a good birthday. (p.s. head out to the temple. that's a good place to figure things out, or to just get some peace.)
LA FIN.
je t'aime. -- ta soeur.
Also, dating is never smooth. And a lot of times getting things out on the table just means any potential relationship has gone down the tubes because too much sun can kill the small plant. Does that make sense? It may seem like a DTR is the easiest way to see where you are at, but sometimes you have to wait and see if you are even on the map, you know?
Relationships DO take effort. They also take time :) (Particularly if you're looking for one that will last for all time)
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could keep those elements in there, and just add a little more patience?
I know the girl thing can be tough....just keep going! Things have a tendency to pan out at just the right moment although you don't see the reason why until it happens.
Also, maybe you should look into some kind of hobby that you enjoy so you have more things to bounce between instead of only school and frustrations with girls! I've been trying to think of some for myself to get me through the dreary winter months :)
I think you are great! Just letting you know.
ReplyDelete