Today is the 4th of July. I woke up and the weather looked about the same way I felt. Cloudy.
I wonder why it is that when you want something and that something becomes an actual possibility you second-guess and wonder if that's what you really want.
Today is the birthday of the United States. I am really thankful for the opportunity I have to serve in it's military. I don't think it's perfect but I do believe that it gives the chance for people to choose. That is really important. But to be honest I don't fight for obscure principles that are debated in Washington. I fight so that people have the chance to choose good. But mainly I fight so that my family can continue to be the force for good that they are in this world. I love this country and I hope that we do all we can to merit the grace of God to continue to prosper and give people the chance to progress. I will always defend the Constitution and what it stands for as guiding principles of freedom.
The weather has improved and my mood with it. I think that I will figure out what I need to do, probably after a few bouts of panic but I will get there.
Happy Birthday America. You're not perfect but you're still great.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Sword of Justice
I read something from a friend of mine that made me cringe. She is dealing with some retardedness and I am surprised at people for some of their reactions to what she wrote.
No one should ever be treated the way she is by some people. People need a wake up call every once in a while.
I met my friend some time ago while I was attending education week. For some reason I can still remember exactly how she looked and what she wore. Yeah, I know. Random. But it's true. She left quite the impression on me, enough that I had a crush on her for the better part of two years. She doesn't know this and it makes me laugh sometimes. But recently, after not seeing her for a long time, she showed up again. This time it was by phone and I was quite surprised. The circumstances in which that was in wasn't the happy-est(spelling???) but I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her. This started a string of phone conversations while I was in training that I looked forward to. It was so nice to talk to someone that not only shared values but interests so I didn't run out of things to say in 20 minutes. I really appreciated this line of support though she may not have realized how much it helped. She is very up front about things and she has a great outlook on life and strives to keep the Lord close. ((I just got a text from her saying she is coming this Saturday, random. she once said that when she was about to talk to me on the phone for the first time she felt a little nervous. I think now I reciprocate the feeling. Weird.))
In any case, I read something that she had written about and that is what caused me to write this. She is dealing with a some bums in her life. Man is responsible for his standing before God, family, and country. No one cannot consider himself a true man (or woman) who does not strive for this.
I know it isn't my responsibility to make everything all right but I do wish there is something I could do, in return for her help to me while I was away.
I hope that someday people will come to know of the peace that comes from following Jesus Christ. It will rid this world of alot of unnecessary pain.
No one should ever be treated the way she is by some people. People need a wake up call every once in a while.
I met my friend some time ago while I was attending education week. For some reason I can still remember exactly how she looked and what she wore. Yeah, I know. Random. But it's true. She left quite the impression on me, enough that I had a crush on her for the better part of two years. She doesn't know this and it makes me laugh sometimes. But recently, after not seeing her for a long time, she showed up again. This time it was by phone and I was quite surprised. The circumstances in which that was in wasn't the happy-est(spelling???) but I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her. This started a string of phone conversations while I was in training that I looked forward to. It was so nice to talk to someone that not only shared values but interests so I didn't run out of things to say in 20 minutes. I really appreciated this line of support though she may not have realized how much it helped. She is very up front about things and she has a great outlook on life and strives to keep the Lord close. ((I just got a text from her saying she is coming this Saturday, random. she once said that when she was about to talk to me on the phone for the first time she felt a little nervous. I think now I reciprocate the feeling. Weird.))
In any case, I read something that she had written about and that is what caused me to write this. She is dealing with a some bums in her life. Man is responsible for his standing before God, family, and country. No one cannot consider himself a true man (or woman) who does not strive for this.
I know it isn't my responsibility to make everything all right but I do wish there is something I could do, in return for her help to me while I was away.
I hope that someday people will come to know of the peace that comes from following Jesus Christ. It will rid this world of alot of unnecessary pain.
BYU-Idaho
This trip back up to Rexburg has been very interesting. Yesterday was rather cloudy and depressing. I found that most of the day I was wondering why I came up and why I was coming back here. I felt so outside of everything and like I was looking in from the outside (maybe it didn't help that I was sleeping in my car on the outskirts of town haha!) But today has been much better, and the sun is out. I realized that my experience in the Army has changed me beyond return and that I will have to incorporate that into my life. This, I believe, will have an effect on how I view BYU-I for now on but I hope that it enhances the experience instead of destroying it. It is fun to see some old faces and it's interesting to see what emotions return with this place. I was at my sister's old apartment building today and I half expected her and her roommates to come out. It'll will be great when she gets back up here.
The construction has changed alot of stuff. It's really weird to see what has changed. Some of it is pretty cool. Other stuff, such as city permits to park on the friggin street qualifies and retardedness, in all it's glory. They do have this really big and new food court area that I hear is great but costs an arm and a leg. I may try it tonight.
So I will sit here in the Library, in my favorite spot and just enjoy the day. It is odd but this spot in the Library in the late afternoon or early evening is very relaxing for me. It's one of the few places I feel that I can just sit and enjoy happiness inside me. People say that happiness is a choice and while I agree to an extent, there are some things in this world that bring people happiness.
Otherwise God would have not made a beautiful world.
The construction has changed alot of stuff. It's really weird to see what has changed. Some of it is pretty cool. Other stuff, such as city permits to park on the friggin street qualifies and retardedness, in all it's glory. They do have this really big and new food court area that I hear is great but costs an arm and a leg. I may try it tonight.
So I will sit here in the Library, in my favorite spot and just enjoy the day. It is odd but this spot in the Library in the late afternoon or early evening is very relaxing for me. It's one of the few places I feel that I can just sit and enjoy happiness inside me. People say that happiness is a choice and while I agree to an extent, there are some things in this world that bring people happiness.
Otherwise God would have not made a beautiful world.
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Peace of the Mountains
I've been up in Mantua for the past few days and it has been great. The first day was absoluelty gorgeous. The sun was out and green covered the mountains like a soft blanket. I've really enjoyed the time here and the peace that just comes. I really need to come up more often.
Prolly one of the activities up here that I've enjoyed was having some ATVs up here. That was alot of fun. A few of us went out today and I got really muddy. That is a sign of a good go. My next stop will be Rexburg. I have to say it will be interesting to say the least. I wonder what I will think of the place and the people that I seel. I believe that if I had gone up right when I got home I would have wanted to leave. There are a few people I'm really excited to see. Others that I don't want to see. And one that I may want to run into.
I just read an article of part of the process to transport fallen soldiers home. I was somewhat sombered by it. I have alot of respect for those who work around the clock to bring home the fallen.
I love chocolate ice cream
I wonder where is the line between venting frustration about someone and attacking someone unrighteously. I have been talking alot about one individual in particular that drives me up the wall and I wonder if telling the story over and over again to people is the right thing. I wouldn't say it to their face because I don't believe they could take it but I wonder if I overstepped my bounds by talking about it so much. Should we just let them continue to be a bother and not say anything to anybody about it? or do we vent it to others so we don't bust our lid and let them know, in a not so calm way, that they are retarded? Maybe someday I will know when to speak and when not to speak. I choose avoiding this person for the time being.
Prolly one of the activities up here that I've enjoyed was having some ATVs up here. That was alot of fun. A few of us went out today and I got really muddy. That is a sign of a good go. My next stop will be Rexburg. I have to say it will be interesting to say the least. I wonder what I will think of the place and the people that I seel. I believe that if I had gone up right when I got home I would have wanted to leave. There are a few people I'm really excited to see. Others that I don't want to see. And one that I may want to run into.
I just read an article of part of the process to transport fallen soldiers home. I was somewhat sombered by it. I have alot of respect for those who work around the clock to bring home the fallen.
I love chocolate ice cream
I wonder where is the line between venting frustration about someone and attacking someone unrighteously. I have been talking alot about one individual in particular that drives me up the wall and I wonder if telling the story over and over again to people is the right thing. I wouldn't say it to their face because I don't believe they could take it but I wonder if I overstepped my bounds by talking about it so much. Should we just let them continue to be a bother and not say anything to anybody about it? or do we vent it to others so we don't bust our lid and let them know, in a not so calm way, that they are retarded? Maybe someday I will know when to speak and when not to speak. I choose avoiding this person for the time being.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Where Is My Mouse?
Well,
I'm home. This has been in and of itself an experience that is unique, yet similar to others who experience the return home after a long, life changing chapter in the book of life.
I find that exercise has become an afterthought. This is bad. Going from exercising five days a week to almost nothing played with my body alot. I found that I had less energy and I didn't feel as good. I also found that my body is taking full advantage of the abundant sleep that I am afforded. I believe it was a good thing at first. A chance for my body to heal itself. But as time wears on and I am still sleeping through my alarm and then some for several hours, I think that I need some change.
I have also found that I am adjusting to living in a predominantly Mormon society again. I love being back but when someone is exposed to the worldly side of things for too long it begins to rub off.
I hope to get into a more constant swing. I like to have a constant in life.
More to follow soon. I won't wait as long as last time. I promise.
P.S. I found my mouse.
I'm home. This has been in and of itself an experience that is unique, yet similar to others who experience the return home after a long, life changing chapter in the book of life.
I find that exercise has become an afterthought. This is bad. Going from exercising five days a week to almost nothing played with my body alot. I found that I had less energy and I didn't feel as good. I also found that my body is taking full advantage of the abundant sleep that I am afforded. I believe it was a good thing at first. A chance for my body to heal itself. But as time wears on and I am still sleeping through my alarm and then some for several hours, I think that I need some change.
I have also found that I am adjusting to living in a predominantly Mormon society again. I love being back but when someone is exposed to the worldly side of things for too long it begins to rub off.
I hope to get into a more constant swing. I like to have a constant in life.
More to follow soon. I won't wait as long as last time. I promise.
P.S. I found my mouse.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
On The Way Home
Sorry 'bout that. I've been out for a bit.
I went to the field two weeks ago to have a comprehensive test of my skills in the field and it was quite an experience. The average day lasted about 19-20 hours. Sometimes I was lucky to get two hours of sleep. But I functioned just fine without coffee (unlike my counterparts) and I didn't use caffeine. I was quite proud of myself. The blessings of the Word of Wisdom will take care of you. I am also glad to know that I can consistently work on 2-4 hours of sleep, though I won't look for the opportunity.
There have been few times in my life that I felt like I accomplished something great. One of these times was the last day of my field training exercise. We cleaned up, geared up, and marched out to get picked up by the buses. My team of 6 was the last ones left because of room so we sat around for about 20 minutes waiting for the bus to come and get us which was perfectly fine for us because being able to lay down and just relax and rest was fabulous. It was such a treat, for lack of a better word. But while a total of eight of us shared a whole bus I felt so proud of the work that I accomplished these passed few months and that I was able to make it when 35 percent of the class was failed out. I love the moments of relaxation after a very hard and strenuous period. They seem very sweet. No wonder we had to come to this earth to learn. The bad makes the good that much better.
So now I am on the way home. And after being gone for some time it is nice to be going back.
I went to the field two weeks ago to have a comprehensive test of my skills in the field and it was quite an experience. The average day lasted about 19-20 hours. Sometimes I was lucky to get two hours of sleep. But I functioned just fine without coffee (unlike my counterparts) and I didn't use caffeine. I was quite proud of myself. The blessings of the Word of Wisdom will take care of you. I am also glad to know that I can consistently work on 2-4 hours of sleep, though I won't look for the opportunity.
There have been few times in my life that I felt like I accomplished something great. One of these times was the last day of my field training exercise. We cleaned up, geared up, and marched out to get picked up by the buses. My team of 6 was the last ones left because of room so we sat around for about 20 minutes waiting for the bus to come and get us which was perfectly fine for us because being able to lay down and just relax and rest was fabulous. It was such a treat, for lack of a better word. But while a total of eight of us shared a whole bus I felt so proud of the work that I accomplished these passed few months and that I was able to make it when 35 percent of the class was failed out. I love the moments of relaxation after a very hard and strenuous period. They seem very sweet. No wonder we had to come to this earth to learn. The bad makes the good that much better.
So now I am on the way home. And after being gone for some time it is nice to be going back.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Up Down Up Down Up Down Up Down.....
Thus my week has been.
I found out last Saturday that my Grandpa passed away , after I got back from an all day training event. Not my favorite end to a day. That following Monday the Red Cross sent a message to my company and I was called in to the office of the Lead Platoon Sergeant. I knew it what it was about but it was still hard to stay composed when my sergeant said that he was sorry but he had some bad news that my grandpa had passed away. He said that he would do everything to get me to the funeral which is to take place Thursday (tomorrow - he's a good man. He seemed the most serious in helping) and that I needed to talk to several sergeants to get it all worked out. The liaison sergeant to the class detachment seemed less than concerned to get anything rolling. Maybe it was his style but it bothered me slightly. So I talked to my class sergeant at the liaison sergeant's order and waited two days to hear back that I could not leave without losing my spot in the class and he would have to put in my recycle packet, meaning several more months in this place. (all happened today) So I'm staying here which is hard. I really wanted to go. Especially since Grandpa was prior military.
This was not everything. I did struggle with the idea of going. If I had gone I would have missed my chance to earn a badge from the German Army that I have wanted really bad for a long time now. I can't tell you how sad I was that I had to choose and in consequence miss the opportunity to get the badge. It's not offered everywhere. It was compounded when I didn't reach my intended score for my Physical Training test Tuesday. I missed another award that I was going for. I can't tell you how devastated I was when that happened. I may sound like someone who just wants awards but to me it's goals that I know I can work for. It helps me keep my mind sharp and gives me purpose and a sense of fulfillment. So when I didn't get it I was devastated that I missed the one chance I had to achieve something seeing that at the time I wasn't going to make it for the German Army badge. I can really say that when you don't get something you're really shooting for, it sucks. But I found that it was a good chance to lean on the Lord. I didn't do so well on that as I wanted to. I'm trying to do better.
So here I am. Not going when I thought I was and I was OK with missing stuff here. I had made that choice that my family was more important than badges.
Now I can't go. But I decided that while I would rather be in Colorado now with my family, I will, in honor of Lloyd Frey, or Grandpa, I will achieve the German Armed Forces Badge -Gold for him.
I found out last Saturday that my Grandpa passed away , after I got back from an all day training event. Not my favorite end to a day. That following Monday the Red Cross sent a message to my company and I was called in to the office of the Lead Platoon Sergeant. I knew it what it was about but it was still hard to stay composed when my sergeant said that he was sorry but he had some bad news that my grandpa had passed away. He said that he would do everything to get me to the funeral which is to take place Thursday (tomorrow - he's a good man. He seemed the most serious in helping) and that I needed to talk to several sergeants to get it all worked out. The liaison sergeant to the class detachment seemed less than concerned to get anything rolling. Maybe it was his style but it bothered me slightly. So I talked to my class sergeant at the liaison sergeant's order and waited two days to hear back that I could not leave without losing my spot in the class and he would have to put in my recycle packet, meaning several more months in this place. (all happened today) So I'm staying here which is hard. I really wanted to go. Especially since Grandpa was prior military.
This was not everything. I did struggle with the idea of going. If I had gone I would have missed my chance to earn a badge from the German Army that I have wanted really bad for a long time now. I can't tell you how sad I was that I had to choose and in consequence miss the opportunity to get the badge. It's not offered everywhere. It was compounded when I didn't reach my intended score for my Physical Training test Tuesday. I missed another award that I was going for. I can't tell you how devastated I was when that happened. I may sound like someone who just wants awards but to me it's goals that I know I can work for. It helps me keep my mind sharp and gives me purpose and a sense of fulfillment. So when I didn't get it I was devastated that I missed the one chance I had to achieve something seeing that at the time I wasn't going to make it for the German Army badge. I can really say that when you don't get something you're really shooting for, it sucks. But I found that it was a good chance to lean on the Lord. I didn't do so well on that as I wanted to. I'm trying to do better.
So here I am. Not going when I thought I was and I was OK with missing stuff here. I had made that choice that my family was more important than badges.
Now I can't go. But I decided that while I would rather be in Colorado now with my family, I will, in honor of Lloyd Frey, or Grandpa, I will achieve the German Armed Forces Badge -Gold for him.
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